Hi there,
it's Jaclyn again! 

     It's shortly after New Year's and it's time for some reflections! I'm not keen on New Years Resolutions, I never keep them. 
  So - as the old year drew to a close and my fear of the new one increased ("please God - I don't want the new year to start the same way the old one ended") I had some thoughts I wanted to share with you, but first I need to tell you about the hearts!
  Do you ever find hearts? I find them all the time: a heart shaped puddle, a cloud, a knothole in my kitchen table, the toothpaste will drip into the sink in a heartshaped blob when I brush my teeth, a heartshaped rock, a heartshaped potato, even in movies - just all the time. Usually when I'm thinking about God, or something God has said, or might be saying to me... and I know it's God's way of saying: "I love you, you're on the right track, girl!"
  It's a matter of perspective, though! Sometimes I don't see the heart until I'm immediately in front of it. Sometimes I can only see it from one direction. And sometimes it's just plain obvious. It's like life, like God's love.
Sometimes you don't see the love in your tribulations until you're through them, looking back from a distance. That's where Trust comes in!
  This past year - man oh man! If I look at it from a human perspective it was a terrible year! My husband lost most of his motor functions, one piece at a time, he lost his speech, his ability to goof around, his ability to work, his love for life and as we went through the emotional roller coaster of trying to figure out what was going on we dealt with anger, fear, despair and a heck of a lot of pain!
  And not only that, we've been going through major renovations, putting in a handicapped bathroom that will be easier for Stephen to access, a new bedroom ect. ect. - there has been people in and out of the house, dirt, dust, noise...
  It was a disasterous year! Or would have been, had it not been for God!
  I choose to take the divine perspective! What God has done in my heart, the encouragement he has shown me as a woman, as a warrior, the love He has poured out on us through friends and family, and most of all the emotional intimacy with Himself that He has blessed me with are beyond description. And suddenly it was worth the struggles, the anger, the tears and the pain.
Don't get me wrong - I have my moments of freaking out at God, or of thinking "God, I can't do this anymore", I have my weaknesses and I'm still hurting,
however:
  "Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him!" (Job 13:15)
  Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego are an inspiration, and then of course there is Daniel in the lions den...
and as I struggle through my days I am suprised at the strength He provides, at the love He shows me over and over again, how He gently comes and picks me up and how He forgives me yet again if I happen to have lost my temper at Him again...
and I have to admit, against all odds: I have had a good year! God has been my friend, my companion, my strength and my lover - and I have had a good year! Sometimes I even find joy here and there!
  He made my dreams come true - and I'm not talking about regular dreams, I have those too, and I'm still waiting for those, things like: I want my husband to be healed, or: I want to have a farm - I'm talking fantasy, I'm talking things I never, ever expected to become reality.
  I'm writing a novel, a fantasy story, a wild adventure of courage and friendship, of intimacy and trust between the characters, I'm writing it straight from my heart, and I want what I'm writing about, I want the adventure, I want the intimacy, I want the trust... I just never thought it was possible on that level of depth, not in this life...
  and yet, God has, in effect, taken the place of the characters in my book and I have what I was aching for, I have the intimacy and the friendship... as a matter of fact: this summer I found myself having a conversation with God, the exact conversation two of my characters had in my book, only I didn't clue in to that until after it was over - and it occurs to me that God dreamed up this story long before I ever did. And I do have a story, and I do have an adventure - I just happen to be in a really tough and difficult part of it right now. And yet, as the characters in my story develop friendship and intimacy through the shared adventure, so my intimacy develops with God - and truthfully I'm completely blown away!
  God is incredibly amazing!
  I have no words!
And those are my thoughts for today! Until next time, 
Jaclyn
P.S. I really appreaciate your feedback!