My rant and my trust
One of the statements that absolutely chaps me is when people say that death is the ultimate healing. I guess I have heard lots of different points of view during the process of the dilapidation of my body this year. Death is healing? By definition isn’t it the exact opposite? That’s like saying that birth is part of gestation. No, it’s the end of it.
I guess the underlying philosophical point that they are trying to make is something like we live in fallen bodies and that the bodies we have to look forward to on resurrection are going to be perfect, and in that sense by enduring the sleep of death we inherit better bodies, but it’s a cop out to say it. Physical Healing is about the body and to say that the person that has been praying for healing is ultimately healed by dying is kind of twisted.
I know what physical healing is about; I am definitely not the expert here, however, having been healed before and been apart of two different miraculous medical scenarios where God actually healed real things that were wrong, I do understand the concept.
Okay, that is my rant for the day.
I have actually been wrestling with the very nearness of my death in contrast to the hope and comfort I know through my relationship with Holy Spirit. It’s been kind of weird to know that the power to heal is living in me and yet for whatever reason I continue to fade. I was struggling with how to express my heart; I feel like I will likely die before years end, probably sooner, and yet I know that I could be raised in a second. Do I feel disappointed when I look at it? Bitter? No, not really; I feel like, where else can I go but back to the one that I promised myself to, Jesus; come what may, I am in for life.
Brad, you said it well: Granted, I don't always feel like we're going to win. (A psychological form of faith in my faith that I don't have much faith in). Rather, the faith I bring to the table is, "Even when it feels like we're getting trounced, what are we supposed to do? Abandon our hope that Jesus may yet heal? Live in denial that he might not? NEITHER. Though the fields are bare and the olives are not on the trees and the vines and barns are empty, yet I will trust. I will leave rejoicing OR grieving for another day. Today we fight, even when Steve can't."
All I can do is trust.
hey there - here's a crazy idea.....are you going to publish your blog? I think it is "bookable"....
what do you think?
Laura
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Dearest Stephen,
Faithful Brother...you are not fighting alone. There are those of us who daily bring you before God's Throne of Grace, but as well, I am sure that there are many others in the spiritual realm who are also fighting for you. We don't know the answers to our heart wrenching WHYS, but we do stand with you in our faith in God. You have been obedient in and through this battle and you have displayed your heart to your friends. You are faithful because your words challenge us and remind us of our limitations, life's fragility and you chanllenge us to examine our own faith and beliefs.
You are battling something we know very little about and we learn together...much of what we are learning we don't even realize, but will someday, I believe it will be further revealed. Perhaps when we go through our own health crisis.
Steve, thank you for your braveness and your willingness to share. This is the stuff heroes are made of and I believe God sees and knows all the rest of your hero makings that you haven't shared. Being a hero doesn't mean you don't fear or you don't get angry...rather it is responding in spite of these things...and caring. And you probably won't want to be identified as such...but in my books, that's how it is.
You have shown us your love and zest for life and you continue to stand fast in your love and faith in Jesus. May you be greatly honored.
Lorri
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Hi Stephen,
I've included a link that you may find helpful.
http://www.mindsync.com/lam/root.htm
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Hey, Stephen! I had to jump in and 'vocalize' my agreement with your perspective on healing! We pray every day for you to be restored on this planet even if its your last gasp, as it seems to me you had been given some prophetic 'word' that this might be coming for you - even before you had a sign of ALS??(True?). Anyway, I don't really see death as a perfect answer to a healing prayer - at least on this side of the 'veil'. I /we will continue to pray for a miraculous reversal of this 'bug' to the last moment - and maybe a little beyond as I also believe He can resuscitate too!!
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Stephen God is using you I think beyond what we can comprehend. You inspire and challenge me daily my friend.
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We are members of the kingdom of God. So as you say, the powers of healing are within . I know someone else at my church who has ALS and she's slipping away very quickly. I feel more than a slight twinge of frustration because healing (to me) is one of the main signs of the kingdom of God here on the fallen planet. And I'm with my dad that we will pray *beyond* the end; if a Baptist can do it (as told in the book, 90 Minutes in Heaven) then anyone can. I pray at work, at home, driving -- whenever I've got a few "clock cycles" where nothing else is going on. I guess if I'm a soldier in the kingdom of God, I want to see the team win. I want to see the soldiers empowered by victories -- not mourning the loss of a fallen comrade. Your situation has brought the whole healing issue (which has always been important to me) to the forefront of my thoughts. Do we not have the ear of the God of the universe? Yeah, we don't know the plan, but hey, we know The Man. And when The Man was here, people got healed everywhere He went. I guess I'm antsy -- I want to see the Kingdom here and now and I'm just wondering why I'm not seeing more signs of life. Plus, you're a father like me; I'm praying like crazy because your shoes look a lot like mine.
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Hi Stephen, I hope you know that your illness is NOT a result of some spiritually rooted problem; you are quite honestly, in a situation we all hope does not happen to us. It hurts; it's unbelievable, and I am so sorry. On Sunday, we used you in our testimony to the church as an example of how love conquers all, because despite our challenges, we overcame them. Know this, I love you, and I am here for you. You are in my prayers every day; I don't know what God's will is in this situation, but I do pray that His peace which passes all understanding may flood your heart and your soul. This is my prayer for you and for your family. Be at peace, my friend, and rest quietly in our love for you.
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Hey Stephen,
Every single time I read one of your blogs, I feel like I should be able to post a response to it that would give hope, or encourage you in some sort of way. Yet, as I start typing, I realize how incredibly few words there are to say at times like these. However, your comment that you don't think you'll finish this year pushed me over the edge to at least tell you that I've kept you in my prayers asking God for your healing.
I've been studying Ephesians recently and a verse that really struck me seems appropriate at this time: "..also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will, to the end that we who were the first to hope in Christ would be to the praise of His glory." (Ephesians 1:11-12). Steve, whatever the outcome, it's to the praise of His glory. That is the purpose for our existence and being. I firmly believe God is capable of, and is currently, using this situation as a means for us to praise His glory.
I'll be out in early January to start school, and I'll be sure to make you my first stop.
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