letter to my Eternal Father
God!
The mere mention of you is enough to bring me to tears. Anyway, as You well know, I have been having difficulty of late, mostly with the body doing the whole “consuming itself” thing which is at once fascinating and at the same time, kind of scary to experience in this context. I have to marvel that I ever considered a 40 day fast as some huge insurmountable event beyond my ability to endure. What foolish things I once concerned myself with. I bet you probably hear that a lot more than you want to. Anyway, I am hoping to stay a bit more connected with you, okay, so, a lot more connected. I have no reason for the silence; although, at times I simply do not know what I can possibly add. I have felt pretty small and insignificant on the canvas of your astonishing creation. I look at the images that various photographers have captured through the lens and shutters of our limited perspective, and whether the image is of such magnitude as to capture the hundreds of galaxies hidden in the faintest points of light in the glorious midwinter sky
or of the world captured in the reflection of a single drop of water 
I see both the expression of brazen supremacy of the God of Creation presented to us alongside the Heart of Mercy
Oh my fAther, I am a man of sorrow in desperate need of you. I am not demanding anything, you have heard my best arguments for healing as well as heaven. Let me finish tonight with a question; is there a place that I may (figuratively) climb? Like a lap, alter or cross and upon which I can just Be with you ?
Wow Steve
May our Lord and Savior comfort you with all comfort as you seek His face at this time. May you see his face and live.
You are in my thoughts and prayers!
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Steve,
Again, a perfect snapshot of a humble and seeking heart after God. If we all could only glimpse a small portion of what you are going through, we'd be brought down to our knees in constant prayer.
Continually praying,
Jim Bugg
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Hey Stephen,
Well, I suppose maybe since this entry was addressed to God, that no one else felt like they could leave a comment
You are SO LOVED.
We humans show this imperfectly, that's for sure. But it doesn't change the truth of that, from God's perspective and from ours - your friends.
Kevin
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After reading your blog here is something I came across beautifully written I thought you might enjoy.
Giggles4God
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Last Online: 01-29-08
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Location: Virginia
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Country: Her Father's Lap - 01-07-07, 06:16 PM
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The sun glistened on the water,
creating crystals of shining light.
She stood there, smiling,
her sandy hair flapping in the breeze.
A dog ran to her,
licked her welcoming hand.
A butterfly fluttered from flower to flower,
bringing another smile to her lips.
The woman sat with her feet
dangling off the dock and into the coolness.
Her laughter bounced off the mountains
as if she were a child again.
But she was.
She played on her Father's lap
while His arms protected her
and He showed her His creation.
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Jesus' love is higher than the sky and deeper than the ocean.
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Stephen:
This is to let you know that your prayers for your eternal comfort in the arms (lap) of God are not yours alone. There are many who are praying prayers of intercession on your behalf. You are never far from our thoughts and prayers and you even pop up in our dreams from time to time as was the case for me just last night.
Margaret and I pray that you can sustain your incredible strength and understanding in the face of the hand which you have been dealt. And we pray also for the strength and understanding your family continues to display as they go through this ordeal with you. It is almost 40 years since we became friends with the Hosts and it is a friendship which has endured over the years as our lives have taken various twists and turns. What can we do ?? We can do so little - it seems so insignificant to call your Dad from time to time to be updated on all the goings on in your family's life. But even that and our prayers for you and them give us some comfort. We would like you to know that we have been joined in our prayers for you and yours by our little congregation at Shady Creek.
Stay strong in spirit my friend and your strength will be an inspiration to those of us who are following you on this journey.
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Stephen, my friend, it's been a while since we've chatted. I've been on the road traveling a significant portion of the last 30 days, but you are always in my prayers. Psalm 63 has been a passage with which I have resonated deeply throughout any difficulties I have faced in my life; perhaps for you too, this passage can bring comfort, hope and strength. God, the Lord, is our anchor who never lets us down, no matter how dry the desert seems. I love you, buddy.
Psalm 63
A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.
1 O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.
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Gracious and Heavenly Father, I praise you because there is NO one more worthy of praise than you! God, we can't even begin to understand You or your ways. You are far too magnificent for our tiny little brains. God, I lift my brother Steve up to you today. He needs to see Your face, feel Your heart beat next to him and Your breath upon his face for You loving God are there beside him though he may not feel You. God, this is not too much for you because you can do ANYTHING!
Father, as you know I dreamed about Steve last night. In my dream he stood up strong before a perfectly clear pool of water. He dove in and swam to the other end then climbed out feeling more alive and refreshed than ever. God, though I can't be 100% certain of what this dream meant, I believe that the water represented You and Your glorious presence. I ask with all my heart today that You would fulfill this dream. Make him more alive than he's ever been, closer to You than he's ever been and more strong and refreshed than ever. Dear God, not because he deserves it, cause none of do, but because mercy cries out for it and the GOD YOU ARE can't bear to see your beloved suffering.
I ask this is the precious and wondrous name of Jesus Christ!
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Stephen
It's not much.. I try to support your wishes in my prayers.
Love
Charlotte
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